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Wheezywaiter - Happy New Year!

Maybe not. No that's Barbara Streisand. THAT TURN! Breakfast... it works or not. Good wink.

Wheezywaiter - Freezy Waiter

We have our classic intro. It's so cold... so governor of California. It was a long time ago. Loser? See that's why you have Chyna. It's never boring! SEND MORE WINKS! Gus is fine, I think.

Wheezywaiter - Lego my Blago

Ah, Illinois. The state where Democrats and Republican are corrupt to the core. Let us see how many Governors of Illinois was deem to be corrupt or bad in general for the past 200 years!

Shadrach Bond [DR] (1818-1822) - Great name, not a bad governor.
Edward Coles [I] (1822-1826) - Won a tight election, abolished slavery... pretty cool.
Ninian Edwards [DR] (1826-1830) - Poor relationship with Assembly and Natives... Bad.
John Reynolds [D] (1830-1834) - Favorite with General Jackson, so automatically Bad.
William Lee D. Ewing [D] (1834) - Served for fourteen days.
Joseph Duncan [W] (1834-1838) - Only Whig, supported National Bank. Okay.
Thomas Carlin [D] (1838-1842) - Worked Mormons and moving the capital...
Thomas Ford [D] (1842-1846) - Anti-Mormon, but worked resolve differences. Okay.
Augustus C. French [D] (1846-1853) - No scandals and got the state out of debt! Great!
Joel Aldrich Matteson [D] (1853-1857) - First governor marred with corruption scandal.
William Henry Bissell [R] (1857-1860) - First successful Republican, known for dueling.
John Wood [R] (1860-1861) - Eh. Cool beard.
Richard Yates [R] (1861-1865) - Very effective war governor.
Richard J. Oglesby [R] (1865-1869, 1873, 1885-1889) - Not much about him.
John M. Palmer [R] (1869-1873) - Fiercely independent.
John Lourie Beveridge [R] (1873-1877) - Had large opposition from Greenbacks... okay.
Shelby Moore Cullom [R] (1877-1883) - Not much about his governorship...
John Marshall Hamilton [R] (1883-1885) - He lost out to Oglesby above for the nomination.
Joseph W. Fifer [R] (1889-1893) - Freed a murderer to murder more people, which is awkward.
John Peter Altgeld [D] (1893-1897) - Leading figure in Progressive movement. Very Good.
John Riley Tanner [R] (1897-1901) - Very Progressive, but also pretty corrupt.
Richard Yates Jr. [R] (1901-1905) - Continued progressive policies...
Charles S. Deneen [R] (1905-1913) - Put down a race riot.
Edward Fitzsimmons Dunne [R] (1913-1917) - Very Irish and combated the Ku Klux Klan, cool.
Frank Orren Lowden [R] (1917-1921) - More race riots! Fun!
Len Small [R] (1921-1929) - Pardoned a lot of people and very corrupt, costing his job.
Louis Lincoln Emmerson [R] (1929-1933) - Great Depression really hurt him.
Henry Horner [D] (1933-1940) - Put sales tax and worked to stop corruption.
John Henry Stelle [D] (1940-1941) - Swiftly removed all former officials and so on...
Dwight H. Green [R] (1941-1949) - Governed during WWII, neglect of the mine disaster.
Adlai Stevenson II [D] (1949-1953) - Tried to run for president but failed twice. Good at speeches.
William Stratton [R](1953-1961) - Acquitted for tax evasion, but that's that...
Otto Kerner Jr. [D] (1961-1968) - Imprisoned for a federal crime.
Samuel H. Shapiro [D] (1968-1969) - Caretaker governor, basically.
Richard B. Ogilvie [R] (1969-1973) - Mafia fighting sheriff, created an income tax.
Dan Walker [D] (1973-1977) - Walked across Illinois, fought against Daley. Convicted.
James R. Thompson [R] (1977-1991) - Underfunded pensions, government freeze...
Jim Edgar [R] (1991-1999) - Another moderate Republican.
George Ryan [R] (1999-2003) - Another governor was convicted of prison.
Rod Blagojevich [D] (2003-2009) - Impeached and removed from office.
Pat Quinn [D] (2009-2015) - Abolish death penalty but... also question with corruption.
Bruce Rauner [R] (2015-2019) - Just a terrible Republican.
J.B. Pritzker [D] (2019-) - Future governor, but... corruption? Maybe?

Wheezywaiter - Neti Pots

I really like this intro, actually. Irrigate the nasal cavity! He doesn't want cookies! Nice... Naughty! Saline powder from Girl Scouts? Coming out of the other nostril... YOU'RE WELCOME!

Wheezywaiter - 82_Naps

I love siesta. I do it all the time now, which is not good... NOT CHILL! WRITE YOUR alderman?