As the Summer Break starts, so do the reviews! We'll finish up Nostalgia Critic... at least till where I promised, Transformer 3. So let's start second half with...
Steel: Another Shaq movie? And a superhero one? Okay, as Shaq and all his awfulness comes and Court scene! Anyway, beginning friend-who-injury-cause-the-main-character-into-a-hero does that, and the Ray gun Shaq made was sold to arcade game company... and souffles and crazy grandma. The boy speak some language. Anyway, the loud gang robs the bank and only a prissy cop and Shaq to save it and... after some boring scenes, they get away and Shaq get his jaw shut. Robbers enjoy their getaway and beer... beer. while Shaq goes to sparks and carries her away. At the crime lab (?) there's shaft and miracles and shaft... wow. So the crime-fighting begins... which he save crimes by laughing. I believe the hodgepodge of superhero leads to a slow and boring hero. Eat the hot dog, not be one? What? As the loud gang steals another bank we find steel is a really boring hero. And sparks is awesome! Who made... funny reaction. Nostalgia Critic haunts with a shaqwoman picture and he goes away with a good normal review.
Top 11 Cereal mascots: Another Top 11. Cereal mascots are interesting things to discuss and with many rare footage. This one takes the... cereal. Weird evolution of cereal and mascots. Little segments and reinterpretation are interesting. Even the Hindenburg.
Barb Wire: Oh the boobies. We start with showers and... narration. Weird juxtaposition. Anyway, Anderson just acts... awful. Futuristic dance moves, and... a pick up line, I think? Stop with monologues! And what's with Babe hate? Awful blows and M. Bison? And... Critic discovers this is Casablanca. Oh god. Boobs and Casablanca. Transformer joke approved. Searching contact lenses, and stop with cut to black. Stop laughing. Money first, Moral second. But there's the action scene. I'm falling-HGTTG ref? End with oh, Casablanca. But with boobs.
Old Vs. New- LOTR: Old Vs. New reviews are just hard to review. Desk jobs and baby Sam. John Hurt as Aragon is surprisingly good. Spilt personality is good. His decision are little bit brash. Bad Photoshop. Never sees the Sauron, that's nice. Sauron goes boom! Suspension and tension vs good strategy? As always ,story is a decision maker. I think the reviews just comparison between two and makes the final decision in the end. Like a case more than a fight.
Last Action Hero: Now, NC makes mistake in reviews. I mean completely trash a film that's a spoof. He even said he won't do spoof. The opening is a spoof of that cop movies. The random phrases are spoof of... random phrases. He never even knew Prescniki was the projector. Geesh. Hamlet is obviously just children's imagination of not understanding subtlety. Sudden dark turn is kind of weird. Sonic Says is funny. It's a bomband retirement, all joke. Yes, he is. This was a intentional WTF. Pointless comeo are the things! NO other movies is just pointing out because it's suppose to bad! Dog pryamids are just what? This is not much of a action movie but a critique/homage to it. I know genre savvy might be too much but with a critic's eye is great. Elephant is good. Even the climax at the real world is a critique. And slowly makes no mistakes. And the end the real world just become cinematic. So the end goes flat, but the idea is fine. It's just that 90's never develop the idea but stuffed it with crap. Review is in angst but this is Nostalgia Critic.
Captain N: media hoards just awful. Especially Nintendo. Mega high in video land. Mother Brain is just what? Not a iticus for Kid Idcrus. Princess Lana? Be a queen! Magical element that is power glove by Lucas, darling, no consistency! Captain N can just shoot him. Defeated by a bag? Bad morals and bad expression. Self depreciation, and white dancing! Game boy, the ruiner! Zelda episode with weird designs... and the greatness of LOTR and the peasant dress like royal and carry a map to a power potion. Zelda captured and a surprise and really. Discuss this no more.
We're back! A Dinosaur's story: Oh, this is my favorite! Sober but never real, Raoul Puke discuss with us the movie that is out of their mind. The birds fighting indicates a bizarre movie. Needs Development. A savage monster and what is it! Brain foods? Fox News is a candy store? Calvin and time machine. Stop with historical ignorance. Juila Child? Louie off to circus? Just stop. Raft with dinosaur and kid with heavy machinery, and a cornea shot! Why Lisa Simpson? Come fly with me, hat's story very amusing. What is this? Parade, what? Singing? Don't rape Spiderman! Dinosaur is real- a child. What am I looking? Script and fine print. Invent something to make people dumber. Use some teeth! Do something! Yay! Morality! What is this? Daivd Lynch's circus! Let no bad happen, yes Yoda. Kill the pig! Hug the fear, wish radio. Slutty girl, yes. Stop this! Shut up! That's not comedy! What happened! Need explanation and those birds, a horrible lesson. Big Lipped Alligator Movie. This review is great.
Warriors of Virtue: Another boring action movie. Filing tax is very interesting. Action packed adventure of middle class surburia. Be quiet, Linkara. Don't do this. Sports movie, now. Oh great, it's the end of the movie. Or an another movie. Chinese kitchen with a special forces. Kitchen is on fire. Tao? Random waves and a plot device. He's in Ferngully, Tank Girl or something. His leg works, and Roller Girl? Trying do every Johnny Depp, isn't it? With Tao? with a T? Random Reference, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Marsupial. Secrets telling just makes this review. Quick change of time. One boring backstory later, no actually two, blurry vision! What is this and what is that, so overacting! More talking. Really cheap movie and a scheme. What? Oh, I fell asleep. NO cinematic shame. NO sense of boredom. Guy is so hilarious! He's just... oh god. Is this PG-13? Let's battle with a Looney Tunes! Captain planet? Send him home and movie... whatever. Just boring and the villain is the only good part. But the review made it.
Captain America: HEIL HITLER! Sorry, just the review... oh just read on. Cheese on cheese, we'll start in Italy and a Harry Heusen experiment that we cut to a similar experiment in America. Usual service and a usual experiment. Now the beginning quote comes in. It's just psych Hitler, most over the top way to kill someone. Just toss the man to a outfit. We'll just laugh. Flying Saucer slip and Red Skull, oh yeah. We'll just send him to a white house and actually in Alaska. And in 1990's Kimball is president. And the general is a evil doer like non-red red skull. Captain American, frozen in a block of ice. Subtitle heavy and in the circus. Cower in a pickup truck. 1960's assassination and oh stealing a car, the American Way! Just a fashion model search. Heroic hiding and don't do that again. Oh... Captain America, the car stealer. And keep speaking English to someone who doesn't understand it. Like the Americans. Hot chick with a slow gun and an awful chase scene. Greatest American Hero and a plot point to nothing. CHUCK NORRIS!!! Sorry.
Top 11 f*ck ups: With Douchey McNitpick. Every little f*ck-up of his greatest mistake. 11: More a joke than actual fact. 10: Scare for me. His opinions. 9: Eyeliner and Melvin... Can-Can with Hitler? 8: All Drew Struzan? Chorney? Closest to all correct. 7: Bebe's Kids isn't impossible? Two doors? Whatever... 6: Forklift mistake. Oops... just a silp. 5: Got mix up? Switch is bad. Mike Ellis cameo. Awesome. 4: Lizard with Fish? Sorry. That's a lot of fish. 3: Mako worship. Another running joke. 2: Spelling mistakes. Just a common mistakes. 1: Optimus Prime. Mistake that just became great.
Well, that's it for the Golden Age. Now time for Ante-Kickass NC.
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