Patrick Henry!!! opens the show! Aaron Burr!!! Luther Martin!! Betsy Ross!! Isarel BISSEL!
Contestants: Townshend Act! Governor Springsteen! Sir Pete Townshend!!! Lord of the treasury!!! Thirteen colonies... William Franklin... stauch defender of the crown! (Zach Poitras)
ARE YOU READY TO COMPETE! Cross the Delaware... Canoe and Broom. Hessian Soldier!!! Dave in Jersey. Bringing balloons? One sided fight! Springsteen is good! 25 point lead!
Great way of looking at losing? I support that... I like that. It's going great??? Are you challenging... What flag do you salute... the JOLLY ROGER??? He's a pirate? We're all skulls and bones!
Tug of War... Luther Martin!! Oh god... Sir Israel Bissel... this is noise. Finest British dish. Wisdom?
Aaron 'Hot Dog' Burr?? Crown, not looking good! Rebel with 56 pt. Wiping the floor! Underplanned... fastest of Tug of War... More song??? Head start, point differential... yeah. Rubbing. OUR HOME TURF! Randomly selected? From the future, Keeper of the Battledome!
Open Mike Eagle - Starting the abolition movement, also rocking out the remixed... pretty rad.
Fact on the strongest. Virginia is a good place... feel like! Betrayed? Luke Skywalker??? Evil man? Johnny Appleseed, cider and get drunk! Secret Goiter! Isabel Bessel, keeping the sign! More Q's... Apples and Apples??? Both kinds are there. Extra apples? Fairly large house??? Third husband... American Education? Do whatever. Door is open! Jewish conspiracy??? Bissel FIGHTING!!! Hmm. Molly Pitcher??? Six month trip? 15 to 9... 56 points!!! Very large meal! Stole a future man's shoe!!!
We got that... Some kind of a soothsayer?? Witch trial?? Cold nipple??? Few ciders? Cold hands? Drunk man with poor circulation. Luther Martin, respect father?? That's great. weird bald spot???
Patrick Henry, the joust? No reaction? Let's give it a minute! Using the oars? Timepiece machine. That was very painful. VERY painful. Best sport, by far? No hard feeling. Becoming loyal??? Windmill... spoil all my secret? MURDER??? Cat-sack. Such ridiculous hair?!?! One more time? Tiebreaker round?!?! Blatant cheating. BLOOD?! Tie at the final game!! So so sorry!
Second song - Invent penicillin. Beautiful quip! Hey, THAT'S Hannibal Buress... he's great?!
Human Pyramid... Boston Tea bag! Kite and Ben Franklin! Smallpox! We overdid it! Oh no!!!!! What a mess!!! So much violence!!! USA, USA, USA SO MUCH TROUBLE?!?! We deserve it.
Jesse and Jaime as Ben Franklin... Two way speech... And a weird ending!!! Feital sweeping!!!
Review: Jon produce the show??? I didn't even know that. Get some apples and Jesse get naked...
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